Jobs I will never have

1. gynaecologist (who would like to stare at women's "reproductive" organs all day?)

2. lorry driver (I don't have the patience for long-distance)

3. pathologist (for obvious reasons)

4. any type of job in the service industry (why would I humiliate myself and have to be pleasant at all times?)

5. prostitute (nice money apparently but not worth it)

6. repair-person of black/white-telly-sets (not a big market)

7. parking ticket controller (they really have to get a life)

8. politician (I like people who stay true to their word)